Updated: Jul 23
Family Constellation and Systemic Therapy shed light on how ancestral traumas persist and impact our lives. To fully understand many issues, we must consider them within a broader context beyond the personal realm. Through constellations, we can bring crucial aspects into focus, making them visible and guiding us toward healing.
In a family constellation, a client selects representatives for themselves, their parents, siblings, and others from a group of people. These representatives are arranged in the room based on the client's inner picture. Interestingly, representatives often begin to experience the same feelings as the real people they represent. This process unveils systemic relationship dynamics previously unknown to the client.
Many problems we face in relationships, work, or health often stem from unresolved issues with our parents. Unconsciously, we seek to fulfill what we lacked from our parents elsewhere. If we seek it in our partner, relationship problems arise. If we seek it in our boss, work problems surface. The root cause is that we have all received and lacked something from our parents. And what we lack, we inadvertently search for in contexts where it cannot be found.
Constellations reveal that the force within a system relates to excluded individuals or events. Exclusion is a response to trauma when resources were unavailable to integrate profound experiences. This leads to repetitions of serious destinies in future generations where integration remains incomplete. However, from a safe space in the present, we can examine the past difficulties and establish connections. Integrated aspects find peace and no longer exert their influence. While the constellation process does not end there, the work continues afterward. The constellation illuminates a temporary system context, opening our eyes to essential but often unnoticed factors crucial to addressing our questions and concerns. The representatives' perception is the fundamental aspect of any constellation—they genuinely feel the same emotions as the real individuals, allowing for liberated expression.
What truly moves us is the primary love of a child for their parents. We are willing to do anything to be close to them, blindly following their destiny, as we believe it strengthens our bond of love. However, this love can be blind.
A significant aspect of constellation work involves establishing a connection between the child and their parents, making visible the blind love that leads to tragic destinies and illnesses. By recognizing that a mother's actions were constrained, the child respects her destiny, enabling detachment and self-revelation—a love that sees and fosters health.
Constellation work faces a unique challenge: anything and everything can be constellated, and new revelations always arise.
The most poignant realization is that love moves us deeply. This recognition emerges when we gaze into another person's eyes, rendering us incapable of uttering anything negative about them. What touches us is the understanding, during a constellation, that every action by our relatives is an expression of love.
By creating a field where we do not focus on people's characteristics or mistakes but instead connect with the love underlying their actions, true healing unfolds.
This even applies to parents or ancestors who have acted cruelly or violently, although admittedly, it is more difficult. Genuine solutions surpass guilt and blame. When clients transcend these emotions, acknowledging that they hinder their life force, an unimaginable peace emerges. Of course, this doesn't mean anger, despair, and guilt are to be ignored, but it is crucial to understand that authentic solutions always transcend these emotions.
The goal is not to judge the family or change the past, but rather to ask: What attitude can I adopt towards the painful events of the past so that they no longer link to my present experiences, limiting and shaping my future?
A successful process hinges on the client's willingness to take responsibility for themselves, their lives, and their current situations. Those lacking this readiness may require support or preparatory work.
For a constellation to be effective, it is essential to assume responsibility, evaluate our attitude towards life, and be open to working on it.
By Marta Masanés and revised by Ritshi Zenati.
Holistika Center run transformative and Spiritual retreats. We base our work on expanded states of consciousness and Sacred plants.