Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch: Three More Love Languages - Part 2
In Part 1 we covered Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. This part covers the remaining three of Dr. Gary Chapman's five love languages: Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch. If you haven't already, you can take the Love Language quiz here.
Acts of Service
What it is: love expressed through doing — help, effort, quietly taking something off someone else's plate. For this language, actions genuinely do speak louder than words.
How it shows up when you're receiving it:
A partner doing the dishes without being asked can feel more loving than a long, kind sentence
Broken promises to help with something can feel like a real betrayal of care, not just an inconvenience
You notice — and remember — who actually follows through, versus who just says they will
How to speak it to someone else: notice what would genuinely lighten someone's load, and do it without being asked or needing credit for it afterward.
Common mismatch: one partner does a great deal practically but rarely says "I love you," while the other partner needs to actually hear it — both are showing love, in languages the other isn't fluent in.
A practice to try: this week, do one small, unglamorous, unasked-for thing for someone that you know would genuinely help them.
Receiving Gifts
What it is: thoughtfulness made visible — not about cost, but about being specifically seen and remembered.
How it shows up when you're receiving it:
A small, inexpensive but well-chosen object can carry real emotional weight
Forgotten occasions — a birthday, an anniversary — can sting more sharply for you than for most people
The story behind a gift ("I saw this and thought of you") often matters more than the gift itself
How to speak it to someone else: small, specific, "I thought of you" gestures matter more here than grand or expensive ones. The thinking-of-you is the actual message.
Common mismatch: a partner who sees gift-giving as unnecessary or overly materialistic can unintentionally miss that, for this language, it was never really about the object.
A practice to try: bring home or send one small, specific thing this week that made you think of someone — no occasion required.
Physical Touch
What it is: ordinary, everyday touch — a hand on the back, a hug, sitting close — as a primary channel for feeling loved. This is about affectionate touch generally, not specifically about physical or sexual intimacy.
How it shows up when you're receiving it:
A hand on the shoulder can calm you faster than any reassuring sentence
Physical distance during a hard time can feel like emotional abandonment, even when the person is otherwise present and caring
Casual, non-romantic touch — a hug hello, sitting close on a couch — genuinely registers as love, not just habit
How to speak it to someone else: small, everyday, non-sexual touch matters more than people often assume — it doesn't need to be a grand gesture to land.
Common mismatch: one partner initiates touch seeking comfort or reassurance; the other, if this isn't their language, can experience the same touch as pressure rather than affection — worth naming directly rather than assuming either side is wrong.
A practice to try: notice one moment today where a small, appropriate touch — a hug, a hand on the arm — would be welcome, and offer it without making it a bigger conversation than it needs to be.
Where to Go From Here
As with Part 1, the most useful move once you know your language (and a partner's or friend's) is simply naming the mismatch out loud rather than trying to guess your way past it. If gift-giving or touch feel loaded for reasons beyond simple preference, that's often worth exploring with a therapist rather than working around indefinitely.
Ritshi Zenati, Speaker & Life Coach
Founder at Holistika Center.
Sources Chapman, G. — The Five Love Languages (1992). Impett, E., Park, L. & Muise, A. — Current Directions in Psychological Science (2024).
Further reading
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts — Dr. Gary Chapman
The way you were taught to receive care as a child often shapes which of these languages feels safest as an adult. Our Core Wounds quiz looks at that earlier layer directly.
If you're ready to work with what you've found here more directly, Holistika's microdosing program and life & spiritual guidance coaching are two different doors into that deeper work.
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